We finally got the entire group (well, most of the group) together at once. It was such a great blessing to see all the ladies enjoy the fellowship. It's amazing what a little R & R can do to a weary body. We had a little catching up to do, but it was so sweet.

If you are a caregiver who never takes a break from your caregiving duties, I would encourage you to make the effort. I know you are probably thinking, "When? How? I don't have the energy to even want to get out." Well, then you are just the candidate for a break. Someone shared that sometimes they don't even want to get out of the house. However, once you are out, even for a little while, it makes all the difference.

We are not meant to keep going 24/7. We are not like God who needs no sleep and no rest. We are human beings and if we keep going at a frantic pace, we will break down or shut down all together.

I know it has been a long time that I've written here, but I felt led to write this. Maybe I will write more? We will see how the LORD leads.

May you be strengthened and encouraged as you continue on this journey.

Caregiver's April (09) Fellowship

Only God knows the extent of the heavy hearts that walked through the doors of Ida's welcoming home. Laughter, tears, sighs, smiles, hugs, a gentle touch...all were and are a part of this incredible ministry. Only God knows the oasis these get togethers are for our weary souls and bodies. We had new faces, same faces and faces we hadn't seen in a while...we had a pretty big group - thank you Jesus! We shared a yummy meal together and an awesome dessert (thank you Diana!). We sang together and then we lifted our burdens to the LORD in prayer...does it get any better than that?! Ida shared with us from God's Word and from her heart.

Philemon 4-7 - I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers, hearing of your love and faith which you have toward the LORD Jesus and toward all the saints, that the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgement of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother. (vv. 20-22)-Yes, brother, let me have joy from you in the LORD; refresh my heart in the LORD. Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. But, meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you.

What a beautiful picture of the love of the brethren. The care and concern for one another. That call, that card, that visit, those prayers - what an impact and lifting up of hearts that can do.

We all left, once again, encouraged, refreshed, knowing that we are not alone in this incredible journey. Knowing that we have the LORD and others who totally understand what we go through.

To walk on this journey along side these awesome ladies is quite a privilege.

Caregiver's March Fellowship - Devotional

From the Book “A Cup of Hope” by Emilie Barnes

The Gift of a Terrible Day

Not too many years ago, a children’s book by Judith Viorst appeared on the market and became an instant classic. It was called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. To my knowledge, it has never been out of print – and there’s a reason for that. It’s because every one of us knows what it’s like to have that kind of awful day.

Maybe you’re in one now – or you remember one all too vividly. A day when you feel physically terrible…or worse. When money is running low and the bills are piling up. When you have a fight with someone you care about – or you feel like picking one! When chores loom or bad news bites and you’re not sure what fire to put out first…and you’re not sure you’re even interested in fighting fires.

“In this world you will have trouble,” Jesus told us. That means we all have our quota of “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad” days. And that’s not even to mention the “stop everything” kind of bad day when we sit at a deathbed or get the legal papers or hear the diagnosis.

Bad days are just a given in this fallen world. We might as well expect them. But can we find hope in them?

I honestly think so.

After all, one of two things is true about every bad day of our lives: Either we will live through it and be given a chance at another day…and that’s reason for hope. Or we won’t live through it, and we will have the opportunity to spend eternity with a heavenly Father who loves us. That, too, is reason for hope.

At different times of your life, bad days will be different. At some points of your life you look back at your previous bad days and think, Why did I ever let all that bother me? Or you might look back and think, What a horrible time in my life! How did I ever live through that? (But you did.)

Either way, what you’ll see is that all those bad days were temporary. They all came in day-sized portions, and they all ended with a second chance, an opportunity for better days to follow. (Even the longest string of bad days eventually comes to an end.) Many of the, in addition, came with a hidden blessing – a word of encouragement that blossomed later into a relationship, a life lesson that finally clicked into place, a final confirmation that something really needed to change.

The point is, we serve a God of new beginnings. The hope he has for us is fresh every morning. So we can end our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days with the expectation that God always has something better for us.

So thank God for the hope-giving grace of this awful day. Ask for the strength and courage to endure it, the wisdom to get through it without making other people suffer, the courage to learn and grow. And here are some things I’ve found helpful in surviving and learning from my own terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days:

* Remind yourself that no matter what happens, twenty-four hours from now this day will be over! (Lamentations 3:22-24 – Through the LORD’S mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!”)

* Marinate your heart in Scripture and prayer – especially if you feel like you don’t want to or don’t have the time. Ask God to cut through your confusion and guide you step by step through the day.

* Gripe a little bit to someone who cares – because the support and prayers of someone who knows what you’re going through can make all the difference.

* Count to ten before you respond to anyone. On bad days, your reactions tend to be off, and you could easily say something hurtful. (James 1:19-20 – Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.)

* Pay a little extra attention to caring for yourself on days when everything seems to go wrong. Try to get some exercise, to eat nutritious foods, to take your vitamins. And ask for help if you need it.

* Ask yourself, “Does God have something for me to learn on this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?”

~~~
Hope grows in a variety of circumstances – including rotten days!
~~~

Words of Hope – and Hope from the Word

When I went to bed, Nick took back the pillow he said I could keep. And the Mickey Mouse nightlight burned out and I bit my tongue. The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not with me. It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that. Even in Australia. –-Judith Viorst

Every day has its own particular brand of holiness to discover and worship appropriately. –-Annie Dillard

I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
I pour out my complain before him;
before him I tell my trouble.
When my spirit grow faint within me,
It is you who know my way. –Psalm 142:1-3

But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. –1 Thessalonians 5:8

Let nothing disturb thee,
Let nothing affright thee.
All things are passing.
God never changes. –-St. Theresa of Avila

After reading this devotion I was able to see Philippians 4:4-9 (Rejoice in the LORD always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The LORD is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.) with a fresh pair of eyes. A new perspective. In pondering on this I realize how much things would change during our storms if we would simply stop for a moment, look to the heavens wherever we’re at and truly seek meaning in this passage. Sometimes all we have to do is look around us, look to His creations. We can find beauty in the wonders of the sky, the excellence in the detail and colors of the flowers, the softness of a baby’s skin. Our Father can take captive our thoughts and exchange them for the lovely things He has given. But we need to be still and notice His greatness. Never forget how mighty He is to save.

Ida

Caregiver's March Fellowship Pictures - 2

Caregiver's March Fellowship Pictures - 1

Asking for Help...

On my ongoing quest for finding ways to make this caregiving journey easier or lighter, I've been looking at different websites and articles. As I come accross articles or info that help me, I will place them here in hopes that they will help someone else.

I ran into this article in the website for National Family Caregivers Association (www.nfcacares.org). I hope this is helpful.

“Reaching Out for the Help You Need”

Why is it so hard to ask for help? What’s a good response to the statement, “Call me if you need me?” Despite the fact that family caregivers are drowning in responsibility or are really confused about what the next step ought to be, they often respond “no thanks” when help is offered.

Asking for and accepting help is a complex issue. Obviously you first need to admit that having some help will make a real difference in your loved ones’ quality of life, and therefore yours as well. Then you need to define what help you need. Which tasks or chores would be the easiest to ask others to do? Which do you really want to do yourself? And which, if any, can you afford to pay others to do? If this just sounds like more work, know that it doesn’t have to be an overwhelming task but rather just a way to organize the thoughts and information you already have. Ready to give it a try?

Here are SIX STEPS to getting help…

1. Recognize that caregiving, like any job, is made up of lots of individual tasks, not all of which are of the same importance. Some tasks take a few minutes; some may take many hours. Some tasks are easy; others require some skill and fortitude. The challenge is to know the difference.

“The hardest part is fear, i.e., fear of refusal, fear of being
misunderstood, or fear that I’ll be considered whiny.” E. Dee Manies,
Overland Park, KS

2. Recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength and not a weakness. It means you truly have a grasp on your situation and have come up with a proactive problem-solving approach to making things easier and better.

3. Create a list of the tasks that need to get done in any given week, or at least those you are most concerned about, such as balancing your responsibilities at work with taking mom to the doctor and Susie to soccer practice, bathing and dressing your husband, cooking, cleaning, etc. When you see how long the list is you’ll quickly understand why you are so tired and don’t have time for yourself.

4. Group your tasks into categories such as personal care tasks for your loved one, transportation, household chores. You can group your tasks into only a few broad categories, or many specific ones. There’s no right or wrong way. It’s all a matter of personal preference.

"When people offer help, be ready to give them a date and time when they are
needed." Dick Stone, Oklahoma City, OK

5. Write down your caregiving worries. Where will we get the money to pay for John’s medications? Who will care for Mary if I get sick? Where can I find an adult day facility that provides transportation? Seeing them in black and white helps diffuse some of their emotion. It also allows you to think more rationally about your concerns and understand how getting help with some of your tasks might lessen the stress. It can provide the basis for deciding which tasks you might ask a neighbor, family member or the church to help out with, which you are willing and able to pay someone else to do, and which there might be a public program for.

6. Share your lists with someone you trust before you actually reach out for help – a friend, therapist, or clergyman, perhaps. The intent is to first get comfortable with the idea of talking about your need for assistance and hopefully get some encouragement and good ideas in the process. Then take a deep breath and actually ask someone to help with one of the tasks on your list, or ask for guidance in resolving your most persistent worry. Start with something small, especially if you are looking for hands-on assistance or something that requires someone doing you a favor. Don’t get discouraged if you get rejected at first. It sometimes takes perseverance. Just remember – the effort is worth it because the goal is better for your loved one and yourself.

Caregiver's February Fellowship

Our Caregiver’s Fellowship was once again “what the doctor ordered”. Many of us needed this time of laughter, relaxation, camaraderie…a time of good-ol-down-time. I can only speak for myself when I say that there are those times that the simple fact of getting away from my caregiving duties is a hair-pulling-ordeal…yet, once I make the DECISION that I will try to make it, and actually make it to one of these get-togethers, I am the one totally-absolutely-blessed. As someone said, there are those times that “no-one-else” will understand aside than someone who is actually doing the same thing. There are those times that we, caregivers, might say things that actually sound “horrendous” to those who have no clue and we, caregivers, will actually be judged wrongly for even implying such a thing.

We also spoke about those times that some of us have been to “secular” support groups. And although they do serve a purpose in the whole scheme of things, we often come away feeling depressed, defeated and WITHOUT HOPE. We where all in agreement that in this kind of setting, we can rant and rave and complain and whatever, but when it all boils down we focus on God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth who gives us all that we need for this journey…and we come away WITH HOPE.

Ida shared the following devotion which brought it all into perspective – eternal perspective:

Streams in the Desert

This thing is from Me (1Kings 12:24).

Life’s disappointments are veiled love’s appointments. Rev. C.A. Fox

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. This thing is from ME.

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too? For, “he that toucheth you, toucheth the apple of mine eye” (Zech. 2:8). You are very precious in My sight (Isa. 43:4). Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you.

I would have you learn when temptations assail you, and the “enemy comes in like a flood,” that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never consult your taste, who put you in the background? This thing is from Me. I am the God of circumstances.

Thou camest not to thy place by accident, it is the very place God meant for thee.

Have you not asked to be made humble? See then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? This thing is from Me, for I am your purse-bearer and would have you draw from and depend upon Me. My supplies are limitless (Phil. 4:9). I would have you prove my promises. Let it not be said of you, “In this thing ye did not believe the Lord your God” (Deut. 1:32).

Are you passing though a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am the Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. I have let earthly comforters fail you, that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolation (2 Thess. 2:16-17). Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me. I could not get your attention in your busy days and I want to teach you some of My deepest lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.” Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all-prayer.

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil. Make use of it free, My child. Let every circumstance that arises, every word that pains you, every interruption that would make you impatient, every revelation of your weakness be anointed with it. The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things. Laura A. Barter Snow

“This thing is from Me,” the Saviour said,
As bending low He kissed my brow,
“For One who loves you thus has led.
Just rest in Me, be patient now,
Your Father knows you have need of this,
Tho’, why perchance you cannot see –
Grieve not for things you’ve seemed to miss.
The thing I send is best for thee.”

Then, looking through my tears, I plead,
“Dear Lord, forgive, I did not know,
‘Twill not be hard since Thou dost tread,
Each path before me here below.
And for my good this thing must be,
His grace sufficient for each test.
So still I’ll sing, ‘Whatever be
God’s way for me is always best.’ ”

No need to add more…suffice it to say that God spoke and although they were hard words, they were comforting words…